Dazed and Confused...

I originally wanted to call this blog "Closure..." but I think the title pretty much speaks for itself.

It has been 269 days since I last stepped foot on my old home. 262 days since I officially said my goodbye, for me, to the best praise and worship team God has put together and trained. Bread From Heaven Christian Fellowship, Las Pinas was not only my home but this was where I learned the bond of camaraderie; the value of musicianship; loyalty and trust. This was where I grew as a Christian and as a skilled musician. Blessed with countless co-ministry workers staying to the wee hours of the morning to make sure that everything goes the way they should. Without expecting anything in return. That's loyalty. To me, that cannot be classified by any lovegift or paycheck to ensure they get the same result.

This morning, I spoke to my Music Director and good friend "Kuya Bobot" and talked about how different the people have become. We so as much would want to get together with our old team for old times sake; for musicianship; for camaraderie; and nothing more.

I don't want to try to explain why things happened or why people reacted the way they did but you can't help but try to think if these people do know you any better for them to prejudge you because you took a stand and left. You, on the other hand, never looked down on those who decided to stay. Surely, God has a purpose why I left and surely He has a purpose why they stayed and I am damn sure He will not let them go.

What hurts me even more is the fact that whenever you try not to mention about what happend in the past and just see each other as friends, they would automatically react like, "we are doing this just as friends, right? no politics involved." WTF?? Who said anything about politics?? Things happened, people fell down, but people get up, lick their wounds, and move on; Plain and simple. No regrets; no hesitation; no remorse. It's just one of those things we had to do but made so sure that it'll never, for a f'in second, affect the friendship that grew.

Because if the friendship happend and stayed because of the band, and since we are not part of the band anymore, then... that would mean... oh shit!!!

Namaaaaaaan! Matatanda na tayo...